Since it was difficult to pick a title for this message, it was decided to list the other possible titles as; The Damages Of Sex-Starvation, Negative Effects of Sexual Starvation, Deceptions Of Sexual Starvation & Side effects of Sexual Starvation.
Many are engrossed in unnecessary abstinence, unreasonable celibacy, self-imposed singleness and sexual starvation. Now this is not a writing to promote promiscuity. It is rather a challenge for folks to pay necessary prices to receive needful prize of sexual satisfaction. Every true relationship requires that one works hard at it. Agreeing with any fellow human being, 100% of the time, is probably the most difficult task here on earth. But, if politicians and business folks will band together to lay hold on desired prize or prizes, regardless of disagreements, offensive rhetoric and destructive campaigns, why would married couples not band together in marital union to achieve sex-satisfaction prize, even when one has to smartly ignore other not-yet-working parts, of a marriage.
The topic of sex cannot be taken off a preacher’s subject just because society has erroneously classified it away from pulpits and decided to depict it as they pleased. God created sex organs. And, without male-female sex, none of us would be here. So sex is so critical that people ought to learn all they can about it, and that they were not designed by God to be starved of it. Sex should be cherished and encouraged within God limits and provisions for it.
By observation, it has been noted that sex starvation can be a root cause of the following:
- Psychological Disorders
- Emotional Upheavals
- Roller-Coster Mental Imbalances
- Cranky Communication & Reactions
- Grade A Intolerance
- Self-Withdrawn Solitary Attitudes
- Social Awkwardness
- Chronic Stress
- Combative Disposition
- Harsh Demeanor
Sex is an important enough reason to get into, or keep, a marital relationship. Cuddling children, dolls, dogs and cats should be no substitute for a real flesh intercourse of a love-partner. If people would be less egoistic-control-freaks, and be willing to spend much more time into cleaning up a human companion, by investing enough in maintaining him or her, just as much as they are willing to spend on toys, pornography, inordinate relationships and animal mates, there would be better working marriages with – true-LOVE – sexual relationships, than is statistically happening right now.
There is not going to be human-marriage or sex in heaven. Heaven is going to be sufficiently ecstatic with God, that a male-female coupling will be absolutely unnecessary. Meanwhile, genuine-Love-Sex gives loads of happiness here on earth. So why should anyone while-away in grudges and immaturity, without working out possible relationship problems with a sex partner, here on earth. Even if a relationship failed irretrievably, then it is necessary to put oneself up to the task of finding another love-relationship that will make happy. There is nothing in scriptures that says one must not start a new marriage if one already failed beyond retrieve. God did not give sexual organs, so it should be kept reserved to oneself alone. God gave genitals to each one so happiness with an opposite sex could be found with it, within God-defined parameters. By the way, sexually starving because a spouse died or an incorrigible one left, is not a proof of Godliness.
Keeping away from marriage and sex because a union may fail, is also a stupid excuse if anyone asks me. For example, God does not get in a relationship with a believer because He is certain it would work out perfectly. It is in God’s attribute to know the end from the beginning, and beginning from the end. Yet He gets into relationships anyway while basically hoping it would work, the unpredictable human-will not withstanding. So should more desirous ones take bold faith steps, like God does. God lovingly stays in relationship with a believer by encouraging improvements in mutual fellowship, which if it so happens, good, but if not, it’s fine too. Life goes on, or God moves on. If a believer fails God, God moves on. More people ought to get in marriage relationship by faith and not just by fishing for 100% pure facts from imperfect pool of people. True faith trumps facts regardless that facts are important to life. Refraining from marriage because of fears solves nothing. It simply empowers starvation and engagement in absurd replacements of true opposite-sex love.
So someone says what do I do since my spouse is unwilling and unyielding to learn? The answer is first a question. Have you both communicated effectively on the sexual situation? Most sexual problems would be resolved by sincere, frank, and down-to-earth conversation on its issues. Medical solutions can also be sought when needed. But, most couples are not secure, truthful, nor confident enough to discuss about their sexual competence or incompetence. They fear hurting one another with such discussions and retain deep frustration, while pretending not to be bothered. There are some others who even feel justified to retain exclusive right to do as little as they wish to, in a marital sexual relation. Though sexual-starvation can be highly unacceptable, yet sexual malfunction may not constitute enough reason to call off a marriage. There are many other areas of marriage that a couple could remain best suited to one another regardless that sex may not be achievable at a dream level. Such couple should however find strength to converse on the matter and to mutually seek all means of finding solution.
However, in extreme cases when a party chooses to sexually starve a partner as a form of deprivation or punishment, the riot act could be read. No believer is permitted to willingly sex-starve his or her mate. A possible ground for a Christian to quit a marriage is when the spouse abandons a pronounced vow to cherish, serve and be sexually co-owned. The foundation of a Christian marriage is in the vows taken during a wedding ceremony. If the vows are consciously broken and a party refuse to be held bound by it, the other party can be free to, and may, move on and secure his or her life happiness. Everyone is entitled to only one chance of enjoying life on earth, after which comes God’s judgment.
It is good to refuse bottlenecks to enjoying the best of this one-chance life in Godliness. More information is available in the book KEEPING LIFE SIMPLE BY UNDERSTANDING MARRIAGE LAW AND ORDER for those who seek more clarity on Bible positions about marriage.
Please help to share this message with others or post comments. May God help us to enjoy more LOVE and sexual happiness in this life, and, may we have more LIFE in our marital LOVE relationship.
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