(It’s a long Story But very important to completely read)
Adam was not the more relationally equipped one in the first home, but He was assigned the role of the leader by God Almighty. Adam was complete emotionally until God pulled a rib out of him, making him weaker in composition and not in quality. God made him a Woman helper because he would thereafter need female companionship, wife and help.
According to the Bible, a Woman was created to help her man. The woman had to be available enough to attend to the need of the man. The man had a responsibility to ensure a rightly conducive environment for the woman to function. But the woman had a greater responsibility to ensure an emotionally conducive environment in the home.
If indeed the essence of creating the woman was to HELP the man, then it would be an aberration for a woman to be satisfied with not helping her man, whatever that requires. To set aside that Godly command would symbolize a height of spiritual irresponsibility. Many women look down at men because they can see from a superior position, which really should not be a problem. Anyone in position to help another, has a tendency to do that. It takes learning, for a superiorly skilled or empowered one, to not look-down nor condescend on the one needing help. That a woman therefore finds herself more capable than the man -in some areas- is not an absurdity, it is God-made or God-designed.
The Woman’s duty in marriage should be to use such “all-perceiving, all-engaging” abilities and advantage to leverage a well-coordinated and knit-together home. Acting otherwise is an aberration. For a woman to quit cheaply from marital relationship is an abandonment of innate home-building skill. Such a woman would have frustrations that she would have to mask and gloss over. For a woman to not be humble enough to subdue her superior qualities in deference to God instituted leadership authority at home, borders on spiritual and moral recklessness.
For some who may not know, God deliberately gave the Woman, the wife, a “veepee” role because He knew she would be too strong to be the president-at-home. Presiding over any assignment is a position of control that needs be handled with tact, humility, and house-building-type wisdom. The Woman Eve was so much in full-control that she demoralized her man and destroyed the fabrics of the first home. The Woman was so internally strong that she could not have a control on God-commanded boundaries and limits. That Woman’s problem was an inability to affirm limits and boundary.
To be a leader may look glamorous, desirable and contestable, but it is never an easy assignment. Many men in home-leadership can be mean, authoritarian and function selfishly, solely making family decisions. Such home-leaders function like bosses from isolated and dictatorial positions. But true leaders accept to operate from a deliberate, weaker, approach by having to enduringly wait on followers. For good leaders, what could be achieved quickly has to be delayed or slowed down for the follower, subordinate, or protégé to learn to achieve and catch-up on what was intended. To be a leader is not the same as being a boss. Bosses pay and hire hands, and can command compliance to orders. Being a leader is not the same.
Leaders are not necessarily the most skilled or the most fit for any job, but they are expected to give full accounts for whatever is put in their charges. The bulk, as people say, stops with the leader. The leader gets blamed for every error of commission and omission within authorized assignment. A leader may not be the strongest in the team but must be strong enough to maintain steady course in the right direction. Many followers make that impossible by forcing sail in opposite directions.
Many leaders are frustrated because most followers purposely make the leader’s job difficult. Followers love to cut corners, they can dodge responsibilities, they pilfer resources, they leadership-eye-please, they bad-mouth, they backbite and are likely not to put in full dues necessary for optimal results. Some would deliberately betray and sabotage a leader’s efforts. Some would make plots and schemes and set the leader up, so he or she can be put to bad light in public eyes.
You cannot frustrate a leader and still expect overall qualitative corporate performance and the best productivity whether at home or in any organization.
In the story of creation, Eve failed Adam and Adam failed God. If I were Adam, I will choose not to fail God. I would rather fail Eve than fail God. If I were Adam, I will be an excellent accounting officer. I would choose not to eat the forbidden fruit. The Woman would bare consequences of her own stubborn and deliberately refusing to live by the will of God. I would rather hang on to God than be downgraded to a redemption-required mode. I would rather stay in God’s garden than be moved into a place of thorn, thistles and laborious sweating. I would prefer God’s clothing of glory than covering of leaves. I will do what I have to do to please God, so that Eve could get her acts right, and, then, we could continue in our God-prepared harmonious, devil-barred, non-hostile environment. I will so cleave to God such that if Eve cleaves to me too, we would both remain cleaved to God together. I will do that because I believe leadership is about giving Godly examples, and maintaining God’s standard at home.
The WOMAN should have been more responsible to God’s words and not live by her emotional dictates. Eve should have stopped dodging behind excuses or her man’s inadequacies, as it could be so convenient. The Woman should have been fully committed to God-assigned line of authority. That way, Adam would have been the true culprit. A Woman is a God-ordained problem-solver! She cannot continue to berate a man by problems posed. She should be the solution to marital problems, as much as she can, and not the source of it. Many are single-unmarried or single-parenting because they see problems in man that they refuse to be the one to solve. Believe it or not, every man is a kind of a problem that needs to be solved. Remember, the Woman was created to solve Adam problem. She was not created to be Adam’s problem. You are not created to lazily stay away from building a marriage that includes a man-at-home. Every Woman was made with capable qualities to resolve marital problems.
When judgment day comes, God is going to ask the Woman; how did you use your womanhood to build a marital home? And he would ask the Man – How did you ensure compliance with my words in your home?
Solve Marital Problems by Engaging it. Staying away from resolving your LOVE issues is not Godly! Everyone would be held to accounts about what you did with marriage on earth! Why? Because it is the major institution God put in place so we all could to have a sane and orderly society
Sorry to those who may disagree with me on this writing. That is why my name is not Adam! My name is Olanrewaju. My name means Ever-Progressing, Always-Moving-Forward – among other meanings. That is why I am able to move on to my next stages as soon as my new season arrives. I have learnt to break away from attachment to past weights and personal conveniences. I have had to leave loads of material goods behind with least attachment, a couple of times. My name is not Adam. I love to move forward with God’s purpose, whatever that could cost.
Now I move on more easily. I used to want to wait to pull unmovable people along to the next level. Now I am free from people-pleasing and thereby attempting to drag unyielding trailers, heavy duty trucks, and earth-moving people-machines in my ways forward.
Last year 2015 was my greatest deliverance year yet. I was delivered from being nice to those who cared less about me, and those who will malign me regardless of how I try to help them or not. I was able to move forward from leaning on double-faced deceivers, haters and friendnemies. I have no more real expectations from those who talk nicely before me but go behind my back to speak half-truths to malign my character. I have since received strength to care less nor bother for long, about contrived distortions of whom anyone think I am or that I should be.
I do not expect everyone to agree. And I have no problems with any insinuations arising from this. I am just trying to fulfill my calling to Revive Homes. And I know that I am covered by the precious blood of JESUS as I obey His directions.
May the Lord help more of our women with divine ability to resolve more marital problems! May the Lord help our men to be man enough to be servant-leaders and strict accounting officers and not embarrassments to God! In JESUS name I prayed, Amen.