2 Reasons Why You Must Avoid Pitfalls Of “Christian Relationship” In 2016! – My Bible-based Opinion – Just Trying to Help LOVE & Marriages By Olanrewaju Elujoba
There are a few points to note before I delve into the topic. It is much BETTER to be in marital relationship with a professing, confessing, admitting believer, who may not be manifesting expected fruits, than it is with one who does not believe in JESUS Christ at all. One who refuses to believe or is unwilling to leave unbelieving practices and lifestyle will be an unequal yoking. But having said that, unequal yoking is not just a Believer vs unbeliever problem. It also can be a believer versus believer problem.
Christian Relationship is a relationship that is assumed to be Christian because those involved are active church-goers, professing of Bible beliefs and are professional religious actors – that is they talk the right clichés and speak “christianese”
languages. Many religious people act perfectly like “Christian” while they are really different persons behind masquerading masks and façades.
Mistake number one is to equate religious activism with being Christian or Christ-like! Church-going is not a guarantee or validation that anyone is Christian! Devils and demons attend Church services too and they are not Christians. There are too many demonic people who preach on pulpits, sing in choirs, sit through church services and pretty much function
alongside true Christians in activities of church. To truly be Christian is to be Christ-like! Christians are real and genuine in their intentions and pursuits of doing EVERYTHING that is spelt out by Christ JESUS!
Many people have mentioned to others that they are Christians but cannot be judged true to their words. I have not met too many Christ-like people in my lifetime, maybe you have! So, if that man or woman is not truly Christ-like yet, then you cannot assume and demand Christian reactions from him or her all of the times. Your relationship cannot be fully anchored on the assumption that he or she is Christian. For your heart safety and sanity, your relationship should be anchored on the person being a human being!!! Marital relationship will work better when you relate with the natural person involved and not the spirituality expected from the person. If the spiritual person shows up right, good for you, but if not, you would not have been too disappointed.
Many may be Christian enough in certain areas of their lives, but you better not cross their path on the sides of their life that are not yet governed by the principles and lifestyles of Christ JESUS! Some of the saved ones that I have met are aspiring to be Christ-like. Some are working hard on it, while most are satisfied with the elementary levels in Christ! Many homes have broken and many relationship not working because many expect Christian virtues from professing ones but did not get it!
Marital relationship is not limited to Christians alone. So, you may have to figure out the level of compliance of that person to a real Christian standard and learn to live with what you got for yourself! You should not blame Christianity for your own lack of discernment, discretion, insight and wisdom.
Mistake number too is to take people at their word of whom they tell you that they are! Every “Christian” is “bi-polar!” My use of bi-polar is restricted to the fact that we all tend to fluctuate from one sanity balance to the other. The Bible calls it walking in the flesh and walking in the Spirit. People who function in the flesh can be as bad as the devil and they can also be as good as angels while in the Spirit. Every Christian possesses capacity for both. The more controlled Christians are better balanced in
the Spirit than they are in the flesh!
Do not assume that your “Christian relationship” would only always be in the Spirit and no one will ever function in the flesh between you. The deepest pain in marital relationships comes to those who were never prepared for this reality check, only for them to be suddenly hit in the face by the subdued and hidden demon in their partner. This is not a fear-mongering, negative-minded message. It is a message to help you enjoy longer lasting LOVE life. A prepared mind is better able to know when it is the devil at work in a partner or when it is the Holy Spirit minded partner at work.
Relationships work better for those who watch their own reactions so that when the “demon” shows up in a partner, they are undaunted and are better able to separate the human partner from the “demonic” influence. Relationships fail for those whose minds were not prepared for the “other” personality in their intimate one. It is always better for a mind to be prepared for “just in case” and the other’s mind for one’s own “just in case”. There is a piece of incoherence that pops up uncontrollably in everyone. There is a piece of madness, craziness or “demon-at-work” in everyone. Anytime someone is not under the Holy Spirit influence, he or she would be a vulnerably yielded and willing vessel to an unholy-spirit influence.
According to the Bible, there is a piece of evil and good in everyone. Do not assume and expect that your partner would be a good one all of the time. Do not only expect and trap your mind and that other “love” of your life into a never-bad-person mode. Prepare your partner’s mind for your own inevitable moment. When you lose a piece of your mind. When you lose control for a moment, only to realize you said some stupid stuff and acted crazy before you got a hold of yourself, and afterward seeking forgiveness and reconciliation.
Many men run from women because they think they are “witches” and /or “bitches” (excuse my language, just trying to be real and touch base with some) just as many women think men to be unfaithful “dogs” and irresponsible low-lifers. I wish I could ask someone if I could tell it as I think it is? Okay! Like I had shared jokingly over the years. You better go find your own witch or bitch, and get your marriage started. And you better find your own dog and low-lifer, and start taming and building him up! I am not sure if anyone interested in marrying can find better than a subdued “witch” or a subdued “dog”. Life is full of them witches and dogs wearing facades and masquerading behind pretty faces, muscular features, alluring touches, intent eye-contacts, and romantic features. I think we all have some parts in us that we learned to keep away from the prying eyes and probing questions in relationships. Continuing in Christ JESUS helps to bring out the “angel” or angelic in any man or woman.
So, marriage and marital love is all about skillfully managing “bi-polar” people. It is about coping mechanisms for situations when a partner reveals an unintended or unexpected side. Marital love is about enjoying the 80% good person and a 20% twisted person of a partner. Remaining single solves nothing. Remaining single would just increase the 20% twisted in some to 80%. Divorcing unnecessarily is also not an answer because that would only just open such “divorcee”up to a window of worse “bi-polarism.”
Please join me to pray: Father in the name of JESUS, please help me to find ways to have and enjoy a working relationship with my intimate one. I ask that you empower me with a strong coping mechanism so I can handle craziness when they show up in my home. I believe that you, my Lord and my God, being the author of marriage institution have the tools and wherewithal that you can give to me so I can enjoy a fun-filled and blissful home. Help me to loosen up in areas that I am too uptight about my relationship. Please help me to be able to cut my other human being some slack. Please help me not to strangle my relationship with demands and impossible expectations. I receive ability to work out my relationship, in JESUS name. Amen.
Someone must marry in this 2016. Some Homes must be stable and peaceful in this New Year. Marriages must thrive in this New Year as we reveal more and more insights to those in need of it. Please help to spread and share this message. Sharing should not mean that the message applies to you. It just means that you think it could help someone. It could be the needed tonic forsomeone around you. For those who disagree or do not like the message, please inbox me about your concerns. I am also available inbox on FB for those who need prayers and help. Thanks in advance for clicking and sharing. God bless you.
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